Incredible!

      I can't believe it. Time flies so fast. It seems like a lifetime ago that I was a squeamish little 9th grader, taking on the challenge of Honors English for the first time. It is even more incredible how much I've changed since my final adieu! Rereading the posts I had made made me both embarrassed and somewhat sad. Some of my statements are a bit, well, silly now that I have another year under my belt, though my basic opinions on such subject matters still remains firm.

      Despite this obvious immaturity, though, I can't help but feel a little sad... what was once me is no longer me. I feel that by my gaining experience and growing as a person, perhaps I lost a little bit of who I am. Not that this loss is entirely bad. There are plenty of things I have loved to see disappear forever: old emotions, habits, and ideals that didn't line up with my future vision of myself.

     I can't help but gape at the striking similarity between this loss and growth and Buster the crab from Kingsolver's novel High Tide in Tucson. The process of shedding so widely discussed in the book is what I am referring to. I feel as if my "shell" was sort of a protection, the best defense my poor young mind had to the dangers of the world around it. However, like Buster, in order to fully experience life, this shell had to be split. I had to get out from under these habits and ideas that were holding me down, those fears that were holding me back. The most intriguing thing to me is now that I have molted, I don't understand why I ever thought that any of those restrictions would really protect me from anything.

    In the book, it also mentions that the molting process sometimes comes at a price. Occasionally, a crab will lose an eye or a limb while trying to rid itself of its harsh hard framework. The crab loses a good thing, something that was near and dear to it and its survival. Perhaps the losses that I feel sad about- like all of those in Honors English and Junior High I will probably never see again- are like the loss of these appendages. I had to lose several good things in order to become the person I am today.

    Unfortunately for many in this world, though, there is quite the opposite process. A sort of strengthening and tightening of one's shell. So many people in this world sink into despair and give up on their "molting," thus making their shell smaller and smaller, until the mind and heart are absolutely crushed. This, I believe, is why the concept of faith and courage are important subjects outside of religious context, because while one has faith in good things to come, the molting will happen, even if it takes many, many years. This faith is what keeps both crabs and humans constantly struggling against their tough, unyielding natures. 

    This is why we as humans must look onward and upward. Albeit, there is no certain, painless path in life, but there is only one path that does lead to any degree of happiness: the one of progress and growth. So have a little courage! Show a little faith! Continue the struggle against the dark parts of yourself, and the dark parts of the world around you! Even when the forces of the world seem to be pushing at you just as hard as you yourself are pushing, remember this: though harsh negative worldly and self-caused forces never tire, only humans can learn and outsmart the enemy. If you let your motto be "FEARLESS!!!" as you travel onward, and nothing on this earth can stop you. So what are you waiting for?